Milestones

I usually wait for the end of the year before writing a retrospective. But with Omicron restrictions, it is unlikely something important will happen next week to up-end this year's narrative. However, there are 2 milestones that are worth reviewing.

In 2002, a mildly embarrassing event happened to me. I was also unemployed because of the dot com crash in 2001 and still living in a roach-infested rooming house. An even-keeled person would laugh it off and spin it into an amusing anecdote about "all things come in threes". Unfortunately, I've always been anxious and neurotic so this one-off has lingered with me ever since. I don't know if it contributed to my teeth-grinding and insomnia, but it definitely boosted the baseline of my everyday anxiety level. Furthermore, I had vacationed in other countries like France and Vietnam prior to this. It's no coincidence that I have rarely traveled outside of Canada since then.

Well, almost 20 years later, it happened again on Christmas day. I can find it funny this time round, at least at the conscious level. But I'm sure that the frightened monkey in my unconscious has grabbed hold of the experience and is chittering away in the background. It's going to be "interesting" to see the eventual outcome. I don't think I'll become a hermit who never leaves their apartment, but fingers crossed.

The other milestone was changing jobs in 2015. People find new employment all the time but I joined my previous company in 2005. So that was a significant move which is now coming up on 7 years. In other words, almost another decade has passed. As I get older things seem to "change" in the blink of an eye and I remember "recent" events that, upon further reflection, actually occurred before this job change. So each time, I become discombobulated upon realizing that it has almost been 10 years that, for example, I was looking for love in all the wrong places, was once part of a Yoga "family" and not just practicing in a studio, and had my pulse on the local scene.

Update (01/01/2022): It's early days but the "simia clamosus" voice seemed to have double-down on routine. On the good side, I have been practicing yoga daily since this post. On the bad side, the number of "everything in its place", "every step in its time" rituals have increased. Also, I'm getting stomach issues again.