A few years ago, there was an article highlighting that as adults, we have already spent more than 99% of our allotted time with family and (old) friends. With work, moving, and other life events that put physical distance between us, we might only see them during Holidays. For me, this was an obvious if usually ignored realization. The corollary was that this was even more true with "strangers". In the city, you will pass by hundreds of people every day, perhaps a few minutes longer if on the subway or streetcar, and then never see them again. This led to a short period in which I felt a mild sadness as I strolled through Toronto streets, did chores, visited a shop, or attended a show.
In the end, that was simply a fun, self-indulgent exercise. With my grandma's terminal diagnosis, the reality was more stark. She has had a long life so I'm not really sad. But 3 years ago, I would have bet that she would reach the century mark. During my visits every other week, I was struck with the fact that our remaining time together was now measured in hours.
Though having potentially a few decades left between us (fate willing), my time with friends were similarly shortened since we rarely saw each other. This despite being back in the same hometown going on 4 years now. So when we met up in June for some noodles at Yun Shang, I silently did my tally: 9 months, 15 months, and 16 months ago. Though some things stayed the same (complaining about work), others were more dramatic (the oldest kids were heading off to university). One noticeable passage of time were more grey and lines for everyone.
On Saturday, I met up with another friend (it has been a "mere" 5 months) at Dosa King for lunch. Being on Holland, the restaurant was conveniently located near a light-rail station. I was surprised they had never had dosas but it made sense in retrospect. 25 years ago when they lived in Toronto, Indian food was limited to mainstream fare like butter chicken. Other regional dishes did not appear until the late 2000s, long after they had moved back to Ottawa. And dosa did not arrive here until recently.
She missed the June dinner due to a busy family life and gum graft surgery. I was sympathetic since I've also had the same procedure. We commiserated over the "perfidy" of dentists and I gave my rant about their competence. In her case, she delayed the operation by 6 months until she talked to her mother, a retired dentist, because she thought it was an "upsell".
We also continued our discussion about my financial naivety. Though my family knew about the company take-over, I finally revealed the value of my windfall to another person. But it wasn't just about cash and grills, our easy camaraderie gave us much laughter on several topics. My cheese paneer masala dosa ($17.99) was good and my friend's first Southern Indian food experience was a success. I'll have to change her skepticism about Indian seafood though there were no previous complaints.
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