Something Old, Something New

Despite living in Toronto for decades, I don't share in its collective memory of city-wide events. During the 1999 snowstorm (when the army was called in), I was living in a walk-up on a main street. So I didn't have to contend with piles of snow that clogged up the smaller side streets. The massive blackout of 2003 occurred just as I was leaving for a week-end camping trip in the Wasaga beach area. My own experience comprised of walking home from a sweatshop job and staying up late that night to watch a rare Toronto sky full of stars. During the Christmas ice storm in 2013, I was already in Ottawa visiting family. Similarly, when COVID-19 swept through Toronto, I was also back there for 4 weeks of remote work and vacation.

I have finally been back in the city for 2 weeks. But with the initial panic subsiding, Toronto simply felt like a week of Sundays. I am lucky that I can work from home with a quick venture out to get lunch. I have also re-discovered my love of reading, underused in recent years from smartphones and other digital distractions.

So lately it has been reminiscent of my first few years here. Back then, I would only transit between work and home. My only urban experiences were week-end walks, repertory movie houses, and the comforting clatter of a street-car as I kept my nose buried in a book inside my apartment. Yet it was enough of big-city living that I didn't want to trade that for a suburban backyard.

But unlike then, I can now download newspapers and books right at home. I even took an online Yoga class on Sunday. There were close to 20 people participating since this popular instructor has a large student base. Without the studio's take, they may even make more money with these virtual sessions. But not everyone is as lucky: musicians, bar staff, small business owners; the list of economic casualties is extensive and the damage could take years to heal. I think about a conversation I had with a stranger as we waited for our take-out at a local Ethiopian restaurant. "The Buddha way," he declared, "Life is nothing and this too shall pass."

Ready to Unpause

I headed back to Toronto on Thursday. There was hardly anyone onboard despite VIA Rail running only 1 train a day to Toronto. On Friday and Saturday, I discovered that social distancing was different in a larger city.

The parking lot at my local mall was full with people there to shop at the grocery store. At 8 am, the line-up was at least 100 folks who were at best a tad over 1 metre apart. These still too-close line-ups would be evident throughout the week-end at the butcher shop and other businesses. They competed for sidewalk space with pedestrians and runners. I can see why people wanted mayor John Tory to close off street lanes to increase walking room.

Not willing to wait that long, I headed to Chinatown instead. There was no distancing enforced at all. Everyone came and went as they pleased at the supermarkets and the aisles were packed with shoppers. One difference from other locations: all wore masks and gloves. On the way home, I stopped by Fresca for a (Toronto style) margherita slice and a quick chat with the taciturn owner. It was so thin, oily, and fragrant that I practically inhaled it. So good to be back.

It was interesting to see what restaurants (and other stores) decided to remain open as I made my way around. Luckily, Vena's Roti was serving customers so that was lunch for Saturday. With the sun out it was lively in the streets, though less than usual for a week-end.

Somehow spring has arrived; there was still light past 8 pm. It finally felt visceral to me. When I had planned my trip to Ottawa for March, I knew it would be a slow-down. Outside of meeting old friends and family, there were no other activities. So the arrival of the corinavirus didn't change anything.

But things were supposed to pick up again on my return starting with a Vagabon concert at The Garrison on Thursday, a new iteration of Alphabet of Wrongdoing at The Music Gallery, dinner with friends, and a slate of big-city fun up ahead. Yet everything was still on hold until there were better news.

Average Friday and Least-er Sunday

I was back at work for 3 days because my company shifted to a 4-day schedule to save money and a public holiday on Friday. Since everyone was working from home, it didn't matter that I was still in Ottawa at my Mom's place.

My first team meeting since the province-wide lockdown was an interesting contrast. Given last year's employee exodus over unpaid salaries and a mini-layoff in January, those who stayed were generally unmotivated. At the other end, the CPO enthusiastically laid out a detailed road-map although they were sensible enough to not include actual dates. I don't doubt they were a true believer, but perhaps they also finagled a pay raise with their promotion into an executive role. I've taken an informal survey of my remaining co-workers, those who have worked with me across several companies. Most of us were pondering how an old colleague from back in the day managed to transition to early retirement at the end of 2019. In other words, not much faith and even less zeal.

My virtual lunch with friends had some down-beat news. A mutual friend finally found work after years of unemployment due to life circumstances and medical issues. But one week in and the pandemic arrived. No staff lay-off yet though new employees on probation were unlikely to be protected. Another friend was about to start major renovation on their fire-damaged home after months of planning and municipal hurdles. With everything now on hold, it could possibly be another year with their family crammed into an apartment.

On Good Friday, I ordered pizza for my first restaurant meal in 3 weeks. It was mostly underwhelming. One nice thing about living in an urban Toronto neighbourhood, you had great local choices for even "simple" food. I hope they and other unglamorous businesses (like laundromats, thrift stores, or repair shops) will pull through.

Sunday arrived without fanfare though I did talk to my grandma on the phone. This was originally planned as a day of celebration back in February for my aunt's first grand-child. It would have been a large extended family get-together and one of many "firsts" (Easter, Canada Day, etc.) for the child. She might not have too many family photos of this first year.

I So Late

During my second week of my stay(-in)-cation, the bad news around the SARS-Cov-2 virus didn't let up. In addition to 3 digital newspapers covering Toronto, Ottawa, and Montréal, I started reading a few from the U.S. Things were even less encouraging south of the border. For more light-hearted fare, I was averaging about a novel every 2 days and 1-2 episodes of online shows daily.

I became lax with my exercise routines. Living in a sleepier neighbourhood, I didn't feel much motivation to take walks as this urban landscape lacked any interesting features. My mom's 30-year-old apartment was a tight space for 2 people so there was little room for me to do Yoga as a self-practice or part of an online class. 3 weeks in and I was already breathing harder walking up a few floors.

So although I have a week of remote work coming up, I wonder if I should return to Toronto as scheduled. With teleworking, it makes no difference where I reside but having access to familiar locations including parks and grocery stores may re-establish some semblance of normalcy as the lock-down continues.

I still have a job even if my company has implemented a 4-day work week with a corresponding 20% pay reduction. But others weren't so lucky. A friend, a sole proprietor of an RMT business, was struggling to find income. They were afraid to ask for a mortgage deferral as it was coming up for renewal in August. Furthermore, frightened to venture outside and avoiding supermarkets, they've spent 3 weeks eating canned food, potatoes, and dried goods without much fresh fruit and vegetables.

Meanwhile, arguments were erupting in their extended families over unpaid bills. Newspaper articles have spotlighted people with precarious finances. Upper middle-class families might be building resiliency, re-discovering family activities, and participating in uplifting neighbourhood projects, but for many people there are no upsides nor is this isolation an opportunity for "personal growth".